Empathy comes from the Greek word en + pathos (in suffering). In psychology and psychotherapy it means putting oneself in another person's situation in every way possible. According to Person-centered Psychotherapy, a therapeutic modality developed by Carl Rogers, a person can be helped only after he/she is understood as thoroughly as possible. Then only the therapist or the helping person can reflect the client (the emotionally troubled person who comes for help in a psychotherapy setting is referred to as client not patient in Person-centered Psychotherapy.) as in a mirror as accurately as possible. When a client understands that the therapist understands him/her accurately as he/she understands himself or herself, change in the client is likely to begin. Unconditional positive regard (respect), congruence or genuineness or, acceptance of the person as he/she is, empathy, and a non-judgmental environment are the important elements in this therapeutic method. This approach is based on the world-view that emotional problems are due to difficulties in adjusting to various, increasingly complex living conditions. In seriously emotionally disturbed situations a client may have to be prepared or stabilized before the client can benefit from this approach. Coming back to empathy, there is a Native American saying to the effect: "Talk only about a person after you walk a mile in his/her moccasins (the kind of shoes the Native Americans wore)". In other words, talk only after understanding a person as fully as possible from his/her vantage point.

             Understanding a person as the person understands one's own self is the key to any relationship. Misunderstanding is the cause of most problems in families, societies, and the world. There is an old saying that a coma (,) killed a man. The clerk in the court wrote the judge's order as: "Kill him, not let him go" instead of "Kill him not, let him go" which was what the judge intended. In my over 40 years of counseling, psychotherapy, psychological evaluation, and other psychological interventions, misunderstanding and distrust are the root causes of the majority of world's problems. Taking things personally, not clarifying issues, taking what is said as a slight or insult where no insult was intended, not giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, holding on to an inappropriate but hurtful word even though the inapt word uttered at the spur of the moment by the other person has been corrected by the speaker with apology, judging the other persons' intentions, not giving others the same kind of break one gives to or desires for oneself, a self-righteous attitude, a defensive posture that is not open to seeing things in a fresh and different perspective, impatience and unwillingness to stay engaged and related until conflicts are resolved in a mutually satisfactory manner are the most important reasons for relationships deteriorating into disastrous and fatal consequences. Defensive persons with fragile self-image are unlikely to receive feed-back that is not to their liking even from a genuinely interested person who gives accurate and fact-based feed-back meant for improvement, growth, and even smoother and safer living. Instead of learning and benefiting from such a feed-back they could consider it to be highly critical, and the person giving it as negative, argumentative, and even quarrelsome. These persons can be too touchy in some situations and too insensitive in others; yet they may tolerate mistreatment from others not saying a word while not brooking even well-intentioned and helpful comments from their own dear ones. In these situations empathic living is extremely difficult. In all situations pro-active and positive responding is very important while carefully avoiding negative, punitive, and destructive reacting coming out of real or perceived hurts.

            Everything happens in a relationship, whether it is between persons or countries. Trust and respect are key ingredients in developing relationships that can lead to solving even the most difficult and seemingly impossible problems between persons and among nations. Ping-pong diplomacy in the 1970s coming out of the ping-pong games played by teams from China and the USA paved the way to thawing a frozen relationship due to age-old hostility and mutual recriminations between the two countries. Recently the Indian prime minister inviting the Pakistani prime minister to watch the semi-finals of the World Cricket Cup played in India by the Indian and Pakistani Cricket teams, it appears, was aimed at developing a better relationship between the leaders of both countries in order to solve the intractable Kashmir dispute begun since the independence of both the countries in 1947. Persons often use a neutral event such as a meal, a game, or a show to develop better rapport, alliance, and emotional bond or trust to help them solve problems or conflicts. In the United States it is very common for a young man to invite his girl-friend for a meal and or show on their first date. It is needless to say trust and relationship are formed in carefully planned pleasant events. However with the best of intentions and rapport a healthy mentality in individuals and a genuine democratic set-up among nations are prerequisites for lasting and satisfactory problem-solving.

             Empathic living is the need of the day. It indicates human friendship and fellowship. It tests the quality of the human spirit. Without it no genuine spirituality is possible. Above all, it is rooted in love. John, a great apostle of Christ, evangelist, and mystic, stated very strongly and bluntly putting everyone on alert: "Beloved, let us love one another; for love springs from God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love…… If anyone says, 'I love God' while he hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen is not able love God whom he has not seen" (1 John, 4: 7,8 & 20). No spirituality that is anchored in day-to-day human living and transactions as well as empathic living is not worth anything. Without altruism human life gets mired in wallowing narcissism, selfishness, and self-centerdness. Human beings are born into a community; they live, grow, develop, and finally die in a community. Humans are social by their very nature. Empathy plays a vital role in marital, family, and community life. Many conflicts and problems in living arise due to lack of empathy. Empathic living needs to be given primary consideration in any school curriculum and training. It is the measure of human and spiritual evolution. Peace and love can evolve and flourish only in a climate of empathic living.